Upper GI - YUCKY GROSS!!!

So I spent this morning at the hospital - had to have a couple of tests. Has anyone had a upper G.I.? If the answer is "yes" - I am SOOOOO SORRY - if the answer is "no" NEVER NEVER NEVER have this test...unless you ABSOLUTELY have to!! SO NASTY!! This is how it starts.......Strip from the waist up.....lovely enough.....THEN - you drink a little sacrament sized cup of rocks - FIZZY rocks......MEGA fizzy rocks - with about half a sacrament sized cup of water...to wash it down - and get it REALLY fizzing. THEN......you get the hot chocolate sized cup of "thick barium" - this stuff looks like chalk, tasts like chalk and is the consistency of mud. They say take a big gulp - OK......Gulp.....Gag.....gag......gag.....gag...."take another big gulp...."gag...gag....gag.....gag.....gag...."now drink the whole thing".....Me - "ARE YOU KIDDING ME"....them - NO....you need to drink the whole thing.....GAG/...GAG.....GAG......GAG....done. (during all this they are having me hold my breath and turn various directions while they x-ray my guts). They lay the table down....have me roll around like a log -3 times - which is NOT an easy thing to do when you are on a table that is about a foot wide - and you have all the x-ray stuff above you!! So - after you roll - they say - lay on your stomach....you do - and then JOY of JOYS...here comes the "thin barium". Another hot chocolate sized cup - FULL.....of the same stuff as before - but now it's the texture of.......thin mud. This one they say GULP........so you start gulping.......GAG....Gag....>Gag......Gag......Gag...... and you KNOW it's bad when the male nurse keeps asking if you are OK.......During this loveliness they say.......Hold your breath and don't move....gulp more - hold your breath don't move.....gulp some more. Last but not least - roll over onto your back....(thank HEAVENS the drinking crap is over). Now -I kid you not....this is what they say...."bear down like you are going to have a bowel movement.....BUT DON'T"..... Which makes me laugh - as IF I am going to have a BM on the table!!! So - you do what they say and FINALLY it's over!! YOU ARE DONE........when you go to change your clothes - you look in the mirror and see that your entire MOUTH is white - covered in dried up barium - both thick and thin........your teeth are coated and GRITTY......and your throat is burning from the fizzy crap - and FINALLY......relief - BUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP! After the upper GI the EKG was a BREEZE!!! Hopefully everything is OK - and I will NEVER NEVER NEVER have to do that again - EVER!!!!!