You Are So Beautiful.........

This Saturday was Cassie's 9th Birthday. A HUGE hug and thanks to all of you who called or sent her something - it means the WORLD to her! We had such a FUN day! She invited 9 friends over for a pizza and ice skating party! It was fun because she invited friends from all of our wards, and all of our homes (we moved 4 times in 4 years......lots of friends to make!) We had such a fun group of girls! I couldn't believe how EASY it was for those little girls to skate!! I sware they have rubber bums......when they would fall they would literally BOUNCE right back up! They all picked it up REALLY quickly and I enjoyed watching in the 50 degree ice skating rink!! It leaves me to ask the question again - WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? Yesterday she was my little baby girl, today she is my BIG baby girl! I am so proud of her. I love everything about her! Happy Birthday Cass! Mom and Dad LOVE YOU MORE............

Who Doesn't Need One Of These?

Come ON! Who doesn't need a green and purple wide mouth Parana sponge eater? Cassie went to the pottery store and painted this for me for Mother's Day! What Mom wouldn't want one of these? I LOVE IT CASS!! It will look PERFECT in my oh so carefully decorated un-cluttered kitchen!! Who need diamonds or gold when you can have one of THESE!!!!

To my Mom......To all the women who influence my life!

I recently finished reading a book - Big Stone Gap - which I really enjoyed. It's a cute story about a woman who looses her Mother....at least that is part of the story. As I was reading, I came along a paragraph that made me cry, and made me think of my Mom. "The terrible things that happen to us in this life never make any sense when we're in the middle of them, floundering, no end in sight. There is no rope to hang on to it seems. Mothers can soothe children during those times, through their reassurance. No one worries about you like your mother, and when she is gone, the world seems unsafe, things happen unwieldy. You cannot turn to her anymore, and it changes your life forever. There is no on one earth who knew you from the day you were born; who knew exactly what to say when you were hurting; and encouraged you to grow a good heart. When that layer goes, whatever is left of your childhood goes with her. Memories are very different and cannot soothe you the same way her touch did. "

Even now.....whenever I am sick, Joel says.....do you want me to call your Mom? There is SO much comfort for me just in her voice. I remember as a little girl, my biggest fear was that something would happen to her....(a very rational fear under the circumstance with my dad). I remember saying that if ANYTHING were to ever happen to my Mom, I wouldn't want to live anymore!! I still feel that way in my heart. My sweet Cassie has been VERY emotionally drawn to me lately.....and the other night she was trying to figure out HOW we could die at the same time......."Grandma should live a really really really really long time, and You should live a really really really long time, and I will live a Really Really long time....and when I am ready to die, we can all die together - that way we will never have to not be with each other". She hugged me and started crying.....and of course - NO ONE CRIES ALONE.......but I was so touched by her feelings. EVERYONE loves their Mom! Maybe it's the unconditional love, maybe it's the constant and unshaken Testimony of the Gospel, maybe its all the amazing knowledge and loving advice, maybe it's like the book said.....that someone knows you from the second you were born, which means they just REALLY get you, maybe it's the differences - and the trying to figure the whole relationship out, maybe it's the knowledge of prayers offered and tears cried on my behalf, well.....whatever it is, I am ETERNALLY grateful for my Mom - for EVERY reason.....for ALL the reasons!

And......I have to add - I am ETERNALLY grateful for ALL of the "Moms" in my life. My amazing Mother in Law - who works TIRELESSLY........at EVERYTHING! Who has been a constant source of support and love, who sets an AMAZING example of missionary service, who still has TONS of get up and go and takes the time to share herself with my daughter - who adores her! For my sisters and sisters in law (Friend you are in this group)- who have so generously shared their beautiful little ones with me, who are such wonderful examples of Motherhood. It's amazing to me to see how perfectly each child was placed....how different each child is, but how PERFECT their moms are for them! For all the Moms who have shared their time with me, and listened to me wonder if I am a good enough Mom. From the strength and support we share with each other. For my Grandmas.....My Grandma Smith whose influence I feel daily in my life. My Granny Meadows - at times made me wonder if she even liked me, but for some reason made it very clear that she LOVED me, and for my Grandma Howard - who accepted me perfectly. To all the amazing Mothers in my life - Happy Mothers Day! THANK YOU! For your constant and wonderful influence in my life.

And to my Amazing Mom......Thank you for giving me life, and THANK YOU for making it good!!!

Where did she go?

Do you ever look in the mirror and ask yourself the question........WHERE DID I GO? or WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? I guess I ask this question because once again - I have been HIT IN THE FACE with the reality of how FAST time goes by!! My nephew Darren is already on his mission - and I remember comforting him after getting CLOBBERED while trying to play football with the BIG boys.....my nephew Jordan is graduating from HS soon.....and it seems like just YESTERDAY he was telling me how BIG my hair is! Cassie is almost 9 years old and almost done with 3rd grade! Joel and I have been living in Arizona for almost 5 years.......which is 2 more than I originally committed to! Joel and I have been married for almost 16 YEARS!!! HOLY COW!!!!! Babies are growing up.......life marches on.....and I look at myself and wonder - WHERE DID I GO? I still FEEL like the me.....the old me....or should I say the YOUNG me....but when I look in the mirrior.......even though it is not ALL bad......well I can't help but wonder - WHERE DID I GO? On the LIGHTER side of it all........I am glad that I am still here to look in the mirror and wonder.....I am SO grateful for the life and love that I have....I am blessed....but I can't help to wish in my heart that time would SLOW DOWN.......even just a little bit!! For the new things with us......Cassie is LOVING Karate....Joel is working hard - And TONS - I am enjoying all of my various "projects". We are looking forward to Summer in Utah......and are just enjoying our lives.

HA HA HA HA HA GOTCHA!!!!!

Picture if you will........Jessica laughing her FOOL HEAD OFF for well........about 20 min!! Let me set this story up!! When Joel first moved to AZ, someone told him to ALWAYS check his shoes, because sometimes scorpions crawl in and will sting you when you stick your foot in....so Joel - no matter WHAT shoes he is putting - always shakes them out. Last night, we were sitting on the couch chatting - and he was getting ready to go running with Shiloh. He had his shoes - and was shaking them out - and the idea hit me......GET HIM and GET HIM GOOD!!! Why you ask- because for whatever sick twisted reason - NOTHING is funnier to me than someone getting scared!! So - with a look of HORROR on my face - I started screaming and pointing.....as if a scorpion was falling out of his shoes.....you have NEVER....NEVER EVER seen Joel jump off the couch faster!! He was......I guess a mix between grunting and yelling.....his arms were out....and he was squatting - like he was guarding someone in basketball.....spun around TRYING to figure out WHAT THE HECK my problem was....Cassie JUMPED A MILE ( so I considered it a twofer!). I started LAUGHING.....and he realized what had happened...he wasn't really mad, but he kind of sat on me.....and I continued for the next 20 min to have a laughing FIT!! May not sound too funny - and I guess you had to be there - but TRUST ME....IT WAS PRICELESS!!! And just to add......Joel is SUCH a good sport - and SO STINKING EASY TO SCARE!!!! *Cute Joel is the little guy on the right......cute Sean is the little guy on the left!! Just LOVE this picture of Joel and his big brother!!

WHEW!!!!

MY FAMILY CAME FOR A VISIT!!! It was the perfect visit! The only bad thing about it was that it was WAY too short.....and it ended WAY to soon! I spent most of Yesterday just being sad......just because I miss having them here....but I am also SO happy because I was so blessed to have them come! I love my family! I am SO grateful for them!! What is better than memories made!!!

I just can't even describe how WONDEFUL it was to have them here! The house was full of noise, laughter, crying, kids and fun! It felt like a house should feel! I woke up and got ready every morning to my Cannon coming in to say "hey bubba" then he would get on the scale and boldly tell me he was "sirty four pounds Bubba!" Every time I looked like I was going somewhere he would say "I go with you Bubba!" before he would go to bed each night, he could come in a sit with Bubba......I loved EVERY SECOND of it! The girls were SO stinkin' cute! Sidney was the perfect little snuggle bug! She was a SWEETHEART! And Savana was darling! It took her a couple of days to

figure out when Bubba was teasing her....but she did and I just have to say NOTHING is cuter than her sweet little giggle! It was amazing to have Debbie and Mom here. We laughed, we talked, we cried, we just spent time together and enjoyed eachother! I LOVED having them here!

The kids got to go with Joel and Jason to Makutus Island on Saturday afternoon before we died eggs. The guys were such GREAT sports and the kids had a blast!!

Easter was FUN! The kids had a blast coloring eggs.....Cannon broke his by just plopping them into the dye....the girls had fun adding sparkles and stickers to their eggs and we had fun helping. They got up in the morning and found all of the inside candy eggs, and then went outside to look for the eggs they colored. It was a beautiful Spring day, couldn't have been prettier.....we all went to church and Sacrament Meeting was wonderful, I had to teach in Relief Society and it was really fun to have Mom and Debbie there to support me.

We went to the park A LOT! The kids had so much fun playing with eachother! Debbie thought it was FREEZING - GIVE ME A BREAK!! It was in the high 60s and the low 70s but it was fairly windy...Debbie, Mom and I enjoyed just hanging out and watching them play.

The amazing week ended with us all going to Cassie's school carnival! they had bounce houses, a hay ride and the various kids carnival booths. The kids had SO much fun and it was really a great way to finish up an amazing week! Cannon and Sidney got to go inside the big Fire Enginewhich was REALLY cool!

What a WONDERFUL world!!!!

I am constantly amazed at how my beautiful daughter's mind works. Cassie is just amazed and enthralled by EVERYTHING that Heavenly Father made. She wants to know how EVERYTHING works and LOVES to learn about anything and EVERYTHING....especially new things. Cassie is in the CATS program at school....Let me just say that I think EVERY CHILD.....GIFTED OR NOT should be given the extra opportunities for learning that Cassie has received. ANYWAY....Saturday (between conference sessions OF COURSE) Cassie was able to go to the CATS expo...where all of the CATS teachers in the district do a variety of displays, science stuff, dissections, experiments....EVERYTHING to interest someone like Cassie. She had SO much fun! The sheep eyeball dissection was for the 7th and 8th graders....but Cassie talked her way into it and LOVED it. She enjoyed the squid..... and JOY OF JOYS....brought home the "beak".....BOTH with no gloves.....at least at first.....She had a blast "digging" for treasures, having a bubble around her, and visiting with "Einstein". I have tried to figure out what it was that made her the way she is.....well obviously she came that way....but Joel and I, from the time she was TINY just really tried to figure out what she liked and what she was interested in, and just really encouraged it. Even though she was our little girly princess......we loved that she loved her bugs, insects, animals, dinosaurs....and basically, we just really encouraged her to be her. And what an amazing HER she is!! It is a JOY to see the world through her eyes......AMAZING!!