Horny.............The Toad!

Made ya look!! I decided a few days before Memorial Day that our little family needed to GET THE HECK out of the valley......and head for the mountains......YES - there are mountains here in HADES!!! We drove up to Payson - AZ of course......and had SO much fun! We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express....and this is a plug for them because it was REALLY nice. The beds were VERY comfortable.....it had a fun pool and spa - A whirlpool tub which Cassie loved to play in, and we got a roll away bed for Cass so EVERYONE was comfortable ! And can I just say the Breakfast they provided was FABULOUS! Fresh eggs, bacon, biscuits, sweet rolls, cereal, milks, juices, fruit - it was really nice! AND FREE!!! We got lucky because there was an arts and crafts fair, and Joel found a new business opportunity! Which he is SO excited about - and which I got dragged in to because it was something I LOVE - JEWELRY!!! I will keep you posted later on this........We had a picnic in the mountains - and hunted for rocks and "creatures". Cassie found a dead snake that she thought was BEAUTIFUL.....and thought was a stick at first......but was really excited for me to see it. FUN FOR ME!!! Then she caught a Horny Toad......it TOTALLY blended in and looked like a rock so we missed it at first, but when she saw it - she ripped her shirt of and caught it and was SO excited! Believe it or not, I thought he was actually cute - maybe she is rubbing off on me! The batteries in the camera were LOW...so I didn't get many pictures, but we got LOTS of memories and came back feeling closer and TOTALLY refreshed!!

The meanest thing........

So other than "I HATE YOU"......what is the MEANEST thing your kid(s) have ever said to you? I mean something that REALLY hurt your feelings - even though OF COURSE you couldn't let them know that........Mine is....."I wish I had a different Mom". OUCH!!!! Do you think she has even the SLIGHTEST clue how bad that one hurt!!!! She looks harmless enough doesn't she!!!

You Are So Beautiful.........

This Saturday was Cassie's 9th Birthday. A HUGE hug and thanks to all of you who called or sent her something - it means the WORLD to her! We had such a FUN day! She invited 9 friends over for a pizza and ice skating party! It was fun because she invited friends from all of our wards, and all of our homes (we moved 4 times in 4 years......lots of friends to make!) We had such a fun group of girls! I couldn't believe how EASY it was for those little girls to skate!! I sware they have rubber bums......when they would fall they would literally BOUNCE right back up! They all picked it up REALLY quickly and I enjoyed watching in the 50 degree ice skating rink!! It leaves me to ask the question again - WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? Yesterday she was my little baby girl, today she is my BIG baby girl! I am so proud of her. I love everything about her! Happy Birthday Cass! Mom and Dad LOVE YOU MORE............

Who Doesn't Need One Of These?

Come ON! Who doesn't need a green and purple wide mouth Parana sponge eater? Cassie went to the pottery store and painted this for me for Mother's Day! What Mom wouldn't want one of these? I LOVE IT CASS!! It will look PERFECT in my oh so carefully decorated un-cluttered kitchen!! Who need diamonds or gold when you can have one of THESE!!!!

To my Mom......To all the women who influence my life!

I recently finished reading a book - Big Stone Gap - which I really enjoyed. It's a cute story about a woman who looses her Mother....at least that is part of the story. As I was reading, I came along a paragraph that made me cry, and made me think of my Mom. "The terrible things that happen to us in this life never make any sense when we're in the middle of them, floundering, no end in sight. There is no rope to hang on to it seems. Mothers can soothe children during those times, through their reassurance. No one worries about you like your mother, and when she is gone, the world seems unsafe, things happen unwieldy. You cannot turn to her anymore, and it changes your life forever. There is no on one earth who knew you from the day you were born; who knew exactly what to say when you were hurting; and encouraged you to grow a good heart. When that layer goes, whatever is left of your childhood goes with her. Memories are very different and cannot soothe you the same way her touch did. "

Even now.....whenever I am sick, Joel says.....do you want me to call your Mom? There is SO much comfort for me just in her voice. I remember as a little girl, my biggest fear was that something would happen to her....(a very rational fear under the circumstance with my dad). I remember saying that if ANYTHING were to ever happen to my Mom, I wouldn't want to live anymore!! I still feel that way in my heart. My sweet Cassie has been VERY emotionally drawn to me lately.....and the other night she was trying to figure out HOW we could die at the same time......."Grandma should live a really really really really long time, and You should live a really really really long time, and I will live a Really Really long time....and when I am ready to die, we can all die together - that way we will never have to not be with each other". She hugged me and started crying.....and of course - NO ONE CRIES ALONE.......but I was so touched by her feelings. EVERYONE loves their Mom! Maybe it's the unconditional love, maybe it's the constant and unshaken Testimony of the Gospel, maybe its all the amazing knowledge and loving advice, maybe it's like the book said.....that someone knows you from the second you were born, which means they just REALLY get you, maybe it's the differences - and the trying to figure the whole relationship out, maybe it's the knowledge of prayers offered and tears cried on my behalf, well.....whatever it is, I am ETERNALLY grateful for my Mom - for EVERY reason.....for ALL the reasons!

And......I have to add - I am ETERNALLY grateful for ALL of the "Moms" in my life. My amazing Mother in Law - who works TIRELESSLY........at EVERYTHING! Who has been a constant source of support and love, who sets an AMAZING example of missionary service, who still has TONS of get up and go and takes the time to share herself with my daughter - who adores her! For my sisters and sisters in law (Friend you are in this group)- who have so generously shared their beautiful little ones with me, who are such wonderful examples of Motherhood. It's amazing to me to see how perfectly each child was placed....how different each child is, but how PERFECT their moms are for them! For all the Moms who have shared their time with me, and listened to me wonder if I am a good enough Mom. From the strength and support we share with each other. For my Grandmas.....My Grandma Smith whose influence I feel daily in my life. My Granny Meadows - at times made me wonder if she even liked me, but for some reason made it very clear that she LOVED me, and for my Grandma Howard - who accepted me perfectly. To all the amazing Mothers in my life - Happy Mothers Day! THANK YOU! For your constant and wonderful influence in my life.

And to my Amazing Mom......Thank you for giving me life, and THANK YOU for making it good!!!

Where did she go?

Do you ever look in the mirror and ask yourself the question........WHERE DID I GO? or WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? I guess I ask this question because once again - I have been HIT IN THE FACE with the reality of how FAST time goes by!! My nephew Darren is already on his mission - and I remember comforting him after getting CLOBBERED while trying to play football with the BIG boys.....my nephew Jordan is graduating from HS soon.....and it seems like just YESTERDAY he was telling me how BIG my hair is! Cassie is almost 9 years old and almost done with 3rd grade! Joel and I have been living in Arizona for almost 5 years.......which is 2 more than I originally committed to! Joel and I have been married for almost 16 YEARS!!! HOLY COW!!!!! Babies are growing up.......life marches on.....and I look at myself and wonder - WHERE DID I GO? I still FEEL like the me.....the old me....or should I say the YOUNG me....but when I look in the mirrior.......even though it is not ALL bad......well I can't help but wonder - WHERE DID I GO? On the LIGHTER side of it all........I am glad that I am still here to look in the mirror and wonder.....I am SO grateful for the life and love that I have....I am blessed....but I can't help to wish in my heart that time would SLOW DOWN.......even just a little bit!! For the new things with us......Cassie is LOVING Karate....Joel is working hard - And TONS - I am enjoying all of my various "projects". We are looking forward to Summer in Utah......and are just enjoying our lives.